I realize that when I tell people my favourite genre of music is 'shoegazing', they laugh. They think I just made up a funny word or I may have some sort of fetish for Vans (I've done some reading...)

Most people are right to have not ever heard any shoegazing music- it's essentially unlistenable. Honestly. It's music for quintupling a daily Gravol dosage.

Cocteau Twins - Cherry-Coloured Funk

Which isn't to say this is a good example of a shoegaze song. The guitars aren't right, and the vocals are too commanding. The vibe is though- it's all smoke & christmas lights & trains overnight.

What is remarkable about this song is it's commercial ambiguity; it's on your iPod whether you have a yoga mat in the closet, or condom of heroin in your colon. I'm somewhere in between, I suppose.

Whoever I am, it makes my blood clot. And this is how today felt. I'm not sure if I'm suffering from some sort of metaphysical angst, or a case of the Mondays. All I knew is I needed to keep dreaming. You can't do that when you're out being useful and making money.

-kam

I try not to get drunk when I go to see a band. As far as I can remember, I’ve only once been capital “D” drunk at a show once, but it was at Call the Office in London, so I couldn’t see anything anyway. I’ve been drunk on stage before, but that doesn’t count either, because I wasn’t watching my own band. I always said I didn’t drink at shows was because I go to shows to watch bands, and I go out drinking to get drunk.

That’s kind of changed in the last year or two.

I’ve found that my concentration level will increase if watching a good band while drunk, and decrease if watching a terrible band while drunk - it’s a fast decision maker and I dig that.

When I saw this band at a festival this summer, I was a little drunk. The decision came fast to stay put and, as I teetered back and forth a little bit, I decided that they were the best thing I’d seen that day.

I was shocked when I heard this. I liked them as much sober as I did when tipsy.

Born Ruffians - This Sentence Will Ruin / Save Your Life

This isn’t good for my liver.

-kevin

Alright, I had to do it. Regrettably:

limpbizkit - Home Sweet Home/Bittersweet Symphony

Over the years I've not been the best friend, the best son, or the best boyfriend. I realize this as I slowly grow older, and mature.

When I'm uncreative, I am Fred Durst. I'm a man who can sometimes try so hard it borders on transparency. This song could have been composed with Cool Edit and a Colt .45.

I actually don't really care so much for anything the Verve did after A Storm In Heaven. And, well, Motley Crue... snicker all you want, but I do have fond memories of Theater of Pain being eaten in the cassette player of my brother's Chevette.

Fred Durst can put it all together... can try to belong moreso than wearing a Smiths shirt to the Teen Choice awards. Good Lord he's trying, you can't fault a man for trying. Even if it sucks & insults the memories of so many people my age.

And I love how he says the word 'sweet' like a frat boy after a keg-stand. "Swaaaaitt!" He'd call me 'fag' because my hair's uneven.

So yes, I do have regrets: I regret my limpbizkit years. I don't think I need to really explain what I mean by that.

And if you think I do, this 'cover' should explain it all for you.

-kam

I have about 2,500 songs on my iTunes right now. I was going through it, trying to figure out what to put on here, but noticed something odd. The sheer number of songs I rarely, if ever, listen to is staggering.

Do I really need Flake’s album? If it wasn’t “early Shins” I wouldn’t give it two thoughts.

And all of the Mark Kozelek live shows? I never listen to them, and only have them on there because they’re hard to find. If I delete them, will I be able to find them again?

Backing them up would probably be the best idea, but no matter how hard I try, I always lose backup discs. I’ve had so many full data CDs disappear into “lost land”, a place that my parents convinced me my toys went when I acted up.

Then there’s stuff like this:

The Sick Lipstick – Teenage Robots

I have this on my computer because a few years ago I had a friend who was friends with a member of this band. She talked about them a lot, and so I figured I’d download something to hear what they were like.

What’s weird is that I don’t remember transferring this MP3 from my old computer to this computer. I just randomly ran into this song on “shuffle”. It must have slipped on from a Data CD that didn’t get sent to “lost land”. Did somebody make me a mix with this on it? I don’t know how it got here.

I also found out that the member of the band that my friend was friends with was previously in a band with Jesse from Death From Above 1979 / MSTRKRFT.

So I’ve spent all this time on this song, the Who / What / Where / When and Why.

I’ve spent more time thinking about how I acquired the song than the song itself.

I really don’t think that this is how music’s supposed to be listened to.

-kevin

The Johnny Boy - You Are The Generation That Bought More Shoes And You Get What You Deserve

Where did I get this song? I have no idea. Who is 'The Johnny Boy'? Aside from a song and a silly band/artist name, no idea.

What year was it written? Dunno. Probably sometime in the zeroes, based solely on the length of the title. All I can personally surmise is that it is a catchier, uptempo rewrite of 'Vox', a poorly aged, yet somewhat still pleasant Sarah McLachlan song. Oh, and they have an EP going for fifty bucks on Amazon.

Oooh, rare-ness. I should be piqued, eh? Nah. Wherever I got this song (or why-ever), it's enough for me. Since it was published in the zeroes but sounds like the early nineties mated to watered down chamber pop is all I need to realize that 'Johnny Boy' likely has issues with innovation.

But I like that this song's lack of personal context ends up becoming context itself. It was probably nothing more than the dolphin that got pureed into my virtual can of tuna while trawling the mp3 blogosphere one day. Probably a Sunday, the only day this sort of song could ever shoe-horn itself a context.

Then again, I am of the generation that shoe-horns more contexts. I get what I deserve from looking too hard for meaning. In this case a blog entry that amounts to nothing- so meaningless in its search for meaning.

Now my head hurts. But hey: a song you may not have heard!

Oh, and if anyone earnestly knows anything about this band/artist, please comment and educate.

-kam

So, a couple of weeks ago, the entire staff of Zero (yes, I refer to Kam and I as “the entire staff of Zero”) took a trip to an “antique warehouse”.

Before you allow the images of teapots and “trinkets” (or even "goo-gaws") to form in your mind, understand that this place was filled to the brim with the best crap you’ve never seen. Who knew that there was a Brooke Shields doll? Who'd have thought that there was a place to buy that pack of licensed Beatles mothballs you'd always dreamed of? Who knew about the “Archie Bunker’s Grandson Joey Stivic” doll?

When I go to places like that, I always hope I’ll discover a vinyl treasure like this:

Beaver & the Trappers – Happiness is Havin’

Alright…

This is Jerry Mathers’ band.

Yes, Beaver from Leave it to Beaver had a lil’ 60’s psych-rock combo. I had read about this a long time ago, but had forgotten about it until the antique warehouse triggered my memory, it seemed like the perfect place to find such unnecessary music.

So, Beaver and the Trappers? I was expecting some poor man’s the Archies, but this….sounds like it should have been on a Nuggets compilation. At the very least it could have been on a Brian Jonestown Massacre record.

I swear; it’s kind of good.

Oh, the lyrics.

“Happiness is…messin’ your mind and most important of all…to be FREE!”

They’re ridiculous. Picturing how ugly he got as a teenager while listening to this song makes it better.

It’s kind of about drugs. And sex.

Somebody find me a vinyl copy of this. I would treasure it forever. By that I mean it would sit there next to the rest of my vinyl being ignored. But, see, I would have it.

Also, somebody find me an mp3 of “Wind-Up Toy”. That was the other Beaver and the Trappers song I read about. I have a 30 second clip, I want the whole thing.

I need these things.

-kevin

Alright, I'm going to hop off the irony train for a second. I was indeed tempted to post Leif Garrett doing 'Teen Spirit' w/ The Melvins. But it sucks.

---

Box sets. I'm supposed to care. I really do not. I find the majority superfluous, and filing them a baffling ordeal. I've allowed many quality artists' box sets slip through my fingers... XTC... Kate Bush... Guided By Voices... nah. Nirvana's? I hate the sight of that cash cow.

But: 'The Aeroplane Flies High'. I bought that. It's pleasing to look at. And while one may call a Missing Persons cover superfluous, it- well...- okay, it is. But I like it. So to each their own, I suppose.

The Smashing Pumpkins are a band who frequently elicit groans when mentioned. Either that or smoke-sharing, hand-holding, puppy-love memories soundtracked to the opening bars of 'Today'.

But there was so much more. Beneath the megalomania & the looking like Powder, Billy Corgan could really 'fuck off' on a guitar. He pounded together grunge, dream pop, space rock & twee into an ethereal summer sound. Sure, the band was an autocracy, so nothing good could really become of them after this box, which ended on this note:

The Smashing Pumpkins - My Blue Heaven

See, now, this is the sort of cover/arrangement mainstream rock bands just wouldn't try in the mid nineties. Perhaps if they had, there'd be fewer belligerent SUV drivers on the road today.

I think I almost got a veldt-sore listening to this song, stargazing. Satellites move sharper than shooting stars- beyond all that I just fell asleep... In the morning there were snake-tracks all around and underneath my bedroll.

For me, the Smashing Pumpkins ascended to 'My Blue Heaven', and just stayed - a perfect epilogue. (I ignore 'Adore' and that other one).

-kam

I think my largest problem with current music is that I feel none of it promises much staying power. MP3 blogs are a good example of this; plopping musical treats of the week onto conveyor belts that drop off into obscurity. We tend to set our watches to Pitchfork Standard never looking behind... rendering today's music largely disposable. Does anybody still talk about Bloc Party? Last year the blogs wouldn't shut up. Eight months ago it got remixed. Four months ago, covered. And now... wait, who was I talking about? Kaiser Chiefs?

I do realize that we are as much to blame as the music, I mean I can now shuffle through 60 songs in 60 seconds. It's far simpler than fast-forwarding- risking my mixed tape being eaten. But whether I like it or not (& attention spans notwithstanding), music will still form a canon.... even if only to be compacted into a retro lunch-hour someday.

I just don't see any one band or sound bearing the flag for the 00s. There's no Nirvana... there's no Smiths. Coldplay? They were actually their most palatable in '99. James Blunt? He looks like he just made poozies.

And further down into indie-land... The Arcade Fire? It remains to be seen if they're more than a one-off gimmick band. Sufjan? He gave himself a gimmick to fall back on like a crutch. Polyphonic Spree? gimmick gimmick gimmick gimmick gimmick!

So, umm... suggestions?

Adam Green - My Shadow Tags On Behind

-kam

I came to a disturbing realization this week: The saddest song in the world is “Moon River”. That in itself isn’t disturbing (except for the fact that I think I can decide these things), but this is:

I have no personal attachment to “Moon River”. As far as I can recall, it’s never been the soundtrack to anything important in my life. I haven’t even seen Breakfast at Tiffany’s and am only vaguely aware that there’s a connection between that song and movie.

I’ve also never heard a version of this song that didn’t make me want to a) cry and b) turn it off. It almost seems like an exercise in self-flaggelation to have to sit through it.

Of course Morrissey went and did a nine minute version of the song; leave it to him to create a nine minute version of what I already consider the saddest song in the world.

So what the fuck is it? Can anyone tell me? Is it gene memory? Is there a scientific explanation?

Kid Koala - Moon River (Live)

You’d think Kid Koala’s version would be easier to swallow, but the out-of-sync records and scratching just make it sound like the singer’s sobbing for fuck’s sake.

It’s just really bothering me that it might just be simple notes and chords that is causing my reaction.

-kevin