Bonnie Dobson - Winter's Going
Wow. Never has spring seemed so daunting. Just listen to the song; it's a slow-moving anxiety attack. Through harmless work banter today, I was reminded of my few months on St. John's wort. I never needed it, of course, because I am not clinically depressed. But this was after 'depression' had finally been defined as affliction over emotion by people like Dateline NBC. Being naive, I ascribed.
This was my first year of university. Life became so much more... touchy. In a lot of ways. The side effects were mostly placebo'd I now realize, and I've never quite recovered somehow. There was a reason why I insisted on listening to "Dock Of The Bay" twice everyday on my commute.
The following September, 9/11 happened and Dateline began to fear-monger in other, more proactive ways. Lectures and conversations forever-after seemed to be anchored by a certain context. My campus life never really evolved. Short of three friends, two profs, and a pot smoking hamster, WLU held very little in the way of a social scene for me. More just sitting in corners, befriending smokers, or looking sad in front of the boarded-up noodle hut. I had better luck at Western mainly because I stole a pen almost everyday I made it to campus from the store my ex-girlfriend worked at.
Traditionally, I think of spring as the rebirth, but maybe I am wrong. In winter, it's easy to hide. Seems easier to act brash and knowingly fuck up. It's easier still to make excuses when the sun sets before the evening news.
And yes, I realize I've again said little or nothing about the actual music. In this case, I feel it's justified- the song itself is powerful enough that upon first listen, you'll hear it or something without needing my alliterated adjectives or pop culture pulls.
Okay, here's my gimmicky plea: I (for now) have a surplus of time on my hands. I (for now) am feeling generous. I (for now) will send anyone of you who e-mails me, a free mixed CD in the mail. All you have to do is provide me an adjective, or a theme, as vague as can be... I'll do the rest.
This is an exercise for me to overcome certain aspects of self-concsiousness... seems silly, yes I know, but I have my reasons. If you're interested, e-mail me at kam [at] uc [dot] org with your address, and your adjective and I'll do the rest. (this offer is only valid for north america)
-kam